Does My Bum Look Big in This?

This is what you ask yourself when sharing a photographer's lens with a stunning model who's at least 5'10" yet weighs the same as a small water biscuit. Yes, I started the day in Arnott's window being told to put my hand there, hold my head this way and generally stop looking like me if I could help it at all. I couldn't. What began as, "Stephen, could you just move closer to Helen and pretend like you're reading the book to her" invariably, before very long at all, became, "Great. Eh, I'd just like to get one or two of Helen on her own before I finish up". Which ones will they be using? Well, you can find out by looking at tomorrow's Herald, Times, Sun, Star and Irish Examiner, but my money is on the beautiful waif. Yep, five photo shoots in one morning is a lot for any aspiring literary rockstar, but I still managed to stay gracious and charming, even though it was hard work, because I haven't forgotten where I came from.

The shoots were interrupted by a quick dash out to Blackrock to sign a few hundred copies of that tome of unmatched brilliance known as Superchick in the distributor's warehouse. The helicoptor was apparently double-booked so we (Adrienne from Mercier and me) took a taxi this time.

Last night I was on Red FM, talking to Vic Barry (fine Cork name) for a wee-ish interview of about ten minutes. That one was a phone inteview - way different to the one with Gery Ryan yesterday. Kept waiting for Sheila to come on the line, but she kept a low profile this time. You know what's really weird? Inteviews are. You know that the other guy is going to pull the plug at some stage but you don't know when. At any moment he could say "Well, that's all we have time for...", which really keeps you on edge and hardly ever happens in real conversations.

Yesterday evening I got wind of another three radio interviews I've to do with Clare FM, Shannonside Radio and Beat 102. These go out south of a line from about Wexford to Galway - see the schedule above for times/dates. Also getting a review in Foinse this week I think. It's an Irish language weekly.

What else? Well, I'll be heading back to Arnotts at around 7pm tonight to get a final gander at it. If anyone's around and fancies a pint, seeya there! I might even introduce you to my mate and co-model Helen, but you have to promise to behave yourself. Nothing much booked for tomorrow or the weekend (except for one of the radio interviews and loads of pints for me), but I'll be sure and scribble any updates here if they happen. I'll also let you know if it stops raining or becomes warm, but don't hold your breath on that score.

Sla/n...